When we began working on this project, I knew we probably had some red tape to wade through. A certain amount of paperwork comes with the territory, right? I was confident that with patience, hard work and tenacity we would work through it all just fine.
I WILDLY underestimated the hurdles we would encounter.
On Monday I went down to the zoning office in City Hall Commons to drop off 4 copies of our survey for our special permit application. The version the owners had from the sale of the property was not acceptable, nor was the one they got from their lawyer’s office. I was hopeful the third time would be the charm.
The “special” permit is by far the most onerous of the assortment of permits we need in order to open. It’s required for all new restaurants, and interestingly also for gas stations, car washes, care homes, parking lots, religious offices and bed and breakfasts. What does a restaurant have in common with a parking lot or a religious office with a B&B? It’s almost as if someone randomly picked business categories out of a hat and decided they would be the lucky ones to pay $500 for the privilege of going through this rigorous process. The permit requires a crap-ton of documentation and must pass through the planning commission as well as the common council. Also, you cannot get a sign permit or entertainment license until it’s approved
443 Survey #2The clerk confirmed that the survey would work and it was the last piece of documentation she required. Wooo-hoooo!
Then, almost as an afterthought, she said, “I just want to give you a heads up, you might have an issue here”.
<Uh oh>
Me: “What do you mean?”
Clerk: “THIS is a property line!”
<she’s pointing to the vertical dashed line that runs between Lot 8 and Lot 9 on the survey>
Me: “Okay?”
<I don’t understand why I apparently should be horrified>
Clerk: “This patio goes over the property line. That’s a problem.”
<she’s pointing to the tiny smidge of the patio behind the building that runs over the invisible property line in the middle of the parking lot>
Me: “Oh. Okay. Well, both parcels are owned by our landlord. They aren’t upset about it, they bought both lots together in 2014”
Clerk: “Well, this property was not divided up correctly. It’s going to need to be corrected before we can process your special permit”
Me: “But – we are only renting the main floor of the building. We don’t have use of the patio OR the parking lot”
Clerk: “Can you take this fence down? That would solve the problem. ”
<Whaaaaat?>
Me: “Uh, no…I don’t think the landlord would be too thrilled if I took his fence down – it’s his property and he uses the patio all the time.”
Clerk: “Well, it’s going to be an issue”
Me: “Okay. What is involved in fixing this issue?”
Clerk: “Oh, well, that’s another whole permit…and it goes through the same process as the special permit, so it’s about the same amount of time. (9-12 weeks) We wouldn’t be able to begin processing your special permit until this one was resolved.”
<At this point it’s taking every fiber of my being to keep my voice level, remain calm, and not completely lose my shit>
Me: “So…you’re telling me that because a patio that we are not renting, located in a parking lot that we are also not renting, runs over an invisible property line owned by the same landlord, you cannot process the permit we need to open our business?”
Clerk: <nods>
Me: “THAT. IS. CRAZY”
Clerk: “I’m not trying to freak you out or anything, I just want you to be prepared”
<Too late>
At this point, I think she realized I was about to go into a full-on panic, so she decided to go talk to her boss, the gentleman in charge of zoning permits. I sat in the waiting area for 10-15 minutes, my anxiety levels going up exponentially with each passing minute.
When she returned she told me that her boss thought it would be okay…that they could let it go for now. I thanked her profusely and left.
But what if he changes his mind? Or what if it lands on someone’s desk who thinks the patio we’re not renting in the parking lot we’re also not renting is a big deal for someone trying to open a coffee shop? I have an awful feeling we’re not out of the woods with this yet.
None of this is the clerk’s fault…she was super friendly and very helpful and I totally get that everyone is just doing their job. They have boxes they have to check off before they can move paperwork onto the next desk.
I think everyone is doing the best they can within the existing system, but at some point maybe someone should take a look at the system itself. Why exactly does it take 8 separate permits to open a small business? Why does it take 3 months to get a permit to open a restaurant in a building that is already zoned to be a restaurant? Why do applicants need to provide photos, multiple scale diagrams, a survey and a site plan when there are NO plans for new construction, remodeling or even landscaping? And why on earth is a permit required to have live music?
All fair questions, don’t you think?
